3 Reasons a Campfire Keeps a Child’s Learning Fresh

There’s something mesmerizing about a campfire. You can stare at the flames for hours as they move over the logs, crackling, and preparing themselves for the best space for roasting marshmallows. When it’s safe to have a campfire this summer, it can be a memorable time with family, friends, and children over the summer. Campfires and nature inspire curiosity and connection, both of which are gifts for our own lifelong learning and for any students or children in our lives, too. There are many reasons why campfires contribute toward fresh and continual learning. Three of those of are: one, campfires allow us to get outside with a purpose; two, campfires are great places for culinary experimentation, and three, campfires inspire storytelling and sharing.

  1. Get outside (with a purpose)

Sometimes we tell children simply to go outside and expect them to explore or not get into any trouble, but if they’re used to being inside all the rest of the year, it can be overwhelming. Interacting with nature can be a naturally freeing activity. Having a bonfire together with friends or family provides a bridge between being active and having a purpose.

A) While you are outside, you can practice identifying trees based on the type of wood or bark (or by the leaves of nearby trees) you’ll use to build the fire.

B) Keeping curiosity alive through tree identification can also happen by collecting textures of trees or leaves, or by following inspiration in the area around where the campfire later will be burning. You can simply use a crayon and cheap copier paper to capture wax relief textures. The paper can later be used as a fire starter or saved for inspiration.

C) Developing a healthy respect of fire, learning about the environment and the impact fire has on the earth is an opportunity for learning, too, this summer. Researching news stories or scientific research at the library or online can engage lifelong learning this summer, all inspired simply by a campfire. You can even learn how to build the most efficient fire.

2. Culinary experimentation (s’mores and more!)

A) It can be fun to go shopping for bonfire snacks. Maybe a child picks out a new snack or treat that they are unfamiliar with (and adults can do this, too!). Researching how to prepare the snack or its cultural origins can be educational and entertaining. Who knows? Maybe wasabi peas will become a firm favorite among family and friends, but only while you’re sitting around the fire.

B) S’mores are delicious! Gooey marshmallow, chocolate, and graham cracker. Why mess with a good thing? Because it can be really fun to experiment with different flavor combinations! Maybe you try a chocolate candy bar that has caramel or nuts in it and melt that with your marshmallow. Perhaps your favorite cookie would be a winning combination to replace the graham crackers. It could be a fun tradition of curiosity pairing flavors around the campfire.

3. Storytelling (and sharing)

A) As an author an avid reader, I’m always going to recommend getting to the library and being amongst books. What if you start a tradition among family and friends to read poetry or a book of myths, fables, legends? Being in the library among real, physical books, whether they are graphic novels, chapter books, memoirs, or audio books…these stories real and imagined provoke curiosity. So, spend time in the library and check out books that intrigue you. When someone is interested, they’re more likely to learn and stay curious in life. And then read a story aloud to each other.

B) Tell stories, too! There is a magical truth-telling quality to time reclining near the fire. The warmth, the flickering, can open up a desire for relational connection. Developing a family culture in which you ask questions about life and experiences and childhood memories is a powerful platform upon which to build healthy family memories together.

C) And when someone asks you questions, allowing yourself to be honest about what’s important to you can be a gift to your loved ones resting by the fire with you. Discussing meaningful topics in a safe space invites lifelong learning when curiosity is rewarded with openness.

There are so many more ways that a campfire can promote lifelong learning with a child or student and their family. Fires in a safe enclosed environment paired with some type of learning or relational engagement help keep the summers interesting. When adults make this creative pursuit a habit, it’s easy to have a natural curiosity rub off onto a child or student in their midst.

Why Read What Women Write?

Why Read What Women Write?

I have a simple answer to this question: because they have written something! It takes a lot of work and courage to produce anything in writing–even a short blog post–even when someone is a talented writer. There are lifetimes of wisdom, insight, encouragement, creative delight on bookshelves all over the world that women have painstakingly and joyfully pulled from brain to page and gotten them into the hands of readers like you who will devour their words.

As it is Women’s History Month in the USA, I’ve been reflecting on what it means to be a writer and to be a woman. 

There are literally countless written works by women writers available to us in the library, bookstores, online archives, and probably our own bookshelves at home. Where should we start, and why? 

What first comes to mind for me is something I read as a teenager in English class. Published in 1892, the story “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman brought to light issues of mental illness and misunderstanding of female psychology–among other things. This was controversial and revealing about the quality of life and quality of mental health which Gilman observed and wanted to share. “The Yellow Wallpaper” is a gift from history left to us to get an inside look at how things might have been experienced in the past, as the story is thought to be partly autobiographical. This fascinating piece is now in the public domain and you can read it here.

When we read work written by women writers throughout history it widens our perspective beyond our normal, everyday life, and increases our awareness of how other people experience the world. In the same way that reading fiction allows us the opportunity to practice empathy by connecting with the main characters, reading words written by people who are different from us is essential.

As a young girl, I loved writing. When I read, I felt inspired to write and be creative in other areas of my life. I remember one assignment in grade school I had that I loved: research an author you enjoy. I chose a local Minnesota author who lived in St. Paul at the time, Judy Delton. 

During her career as an author, Delton wrote 40 chapter books for young readers in the Pee Wee Scout series (find out more about them here) and many picture books. She was a family friend and I got the privilege of meeting her–a real author! She even wrote me a letter to encourage me in my own writing. One of the characters in the Pee Wee Scouts is named Molly, and although I’m fairly certain she wasn’t named after me, there was still a connection. And it was inspiring to read because I knew the author. 

When I was growing up, we had another family friend, romance author named Betina Krahn, who continues to be a delightfully, madly prolific author of stories that her readers devour. In many ways, I can look back and see breadcrumbs of the women who came before me and I feel a weighty sense of gratitude for how they’ve made a way with their writing work so that I could step into being the writer I am today.

Writers are normal people–we really are! And when we can as readers make a connection with the authors of work we can appreciate the conversation through literature that follows. 

Why read what women write?

While we can in 2023 look back in history as the women who wrote and inspired us with their courage to overcome societal norms that held them back. George Eliot, for instance, who wrote a book called Middlemarch in the mid-nineteenth century is a pen name for the woman author, Mary Ann Evans. You can read more about Evans/Eliot and other women of classic literature here in the Literary Ladies Guide. She published under a man’s name in order to be accepted as a writer. 

Some may say that it was oppressive and unfair that she didn’t or couldn’t use her given name, but I think it’s an empowered decision. Evans/Eliot didn’t allow society to hold her back from expressing through words. She overcome society by using a pen name and worked diligently to get her words out into the world. I admire this perseverance greatly.

Why read what women write? 

Why not? I find it interesting that there is an argument for investing time to read Women’s Literature when “Men’s Literature” isn’t really a category that needs persuasion to read from. I don’t have any issues with reading books written by men. However, if we are reading only one type of book or books written by one type of person, our thinking and human interaction can be narrowed. 

Instead, how might we all benefit from reading widely? I coach and teach my creative writing clients that in order to BECOME the Writer we’re made to be, read voraciously! If you aren’t sure where to start, or you feel stuck in a rut, go to a local bookstore or your local library and ask them for recommendations. Particularly librarians are excellent at curating themed lists and offering recommendations to get readers out of our comfort zones.

And don’t just read books written by women. Read books, full stop! Read voraciously to learn, for enjoyment, to stay curious. Reading isn’t about agreeing with everything you encounter, but about opening up to listen to what others are saying. And when we read work from those who have gone before us, reading historical work can be an honoring act. In the same way that wandering through a cemetery with moss-covered gravestones and whispering the names out loud can be an honoring act of remembrance, so too can reading work from authors who have written centuries and decades before us.

There are many recommendations I can offer, but instead of trying to name everyone and undoubtedly missing an infinite number of great books to remember, I wanted to share very simply, 5 books that happen to be on my bookshelf today that are written by Minnesotan women.

If you’re not sure where to start, perhaps you could begin with one of these:

Storm Front by Susan May Warren (part of the Montana Rescue series)

Olympus by K. A. Williams (book 2 of the Firebird Chronicles)

Thy Father’s Will by Kirsten Jacobsen Stasney (a historical novel based on true events)

The Birchbark House by Louise Erdrich (juvenile fiction, book 1 of the Birchbark series)

Truest by Jackie Lea Sommers (a standalone coming of age YA novel)

Read widely.

Use your voice.

Write for joy.

Happy reading this Women’s History Month!

3 Gentle Habits for Reflection

Watch or Listen to “3 Gentle Habits of Reflection”

Hi there!

As we approach the year end, I want to share some gentle reflective habits to help you finish strong, confident, and just as you are now. You may find journaling works well for you, so feel free to take notes to reflect on or journal on more later as this season passes. 🙂

3 Gentle Habits of Reflection:

1. What are you proud of?

2. What surprised you?

3. What are you taking with you to the next season?

And…new things are coming to BECOME the Writer 2023!

So, watch this space, everyone!

For more information about my coaching and membership services, please visit: http://mollyovenden.com/coaching/

7 Ways Gratitude Helps Us to Focus

Gratitude keeps us grounded, focused on the present. Being content is being thankful for what we already have. Thanksgiving allows a time of reflection on what’s happened, where we’ve grown, what’s surprised us, we count our life blessings and then we can look ahead with a hopeful attitude.

I can lose perspective when I’m not present here and now. I’m either daydreaming or looking ahead only we leaves me feeling stuck today. Holding past, present, and future up to God means they can all work together and not exist in unhelpful isolation.

Living in the Past
We all can learn from Napoleon Dynamite’s Uncle Rico that living in the past isn’t the best way to live. Being in the past alone can leave us feeling regret and hopeless because of what we didn’t do or something we wish we hadn’t done. Looking back constantly can also be full of fear of what’s coming from our past to bite us or rear-end us like in a car crash.

Living in the Future
But, living in the future isn’t ideal either. When we only look ahead, we’re always not yet there. We haven’t achieved that goal yet. We haven’t become that writer yet. Our goal posts keep moving as we make progress. When we focus on the future, we only see that we’ve not reached the finish line yet.

Living in the Present
Gratitude offers a different perspective. Gratitude allows us to be here today while keeping the tension in check. We can be thankful while holding onto the known of the past and holding onto unknown of the future. Gratitude gives us the opportunity to be a supportive observer of progress and supported holder of hope.

There are undoubtedly countless ways to grow in gratitude. Here are several reflections which I’ve found helpful to I engage regularly to live with gratitude:

Photo by wewe yang from Pexels

For the morning:
1. Today I am grateful for…
I look back at what’s happened recently and I take time to look around me. In the physical, I often notice the good about my home, my job, my family, my health and body. In the emotional, mental, and spiritual I often notice something that feels happy or something I’ve accomplished or how I’m experiencing my relationship with God.

I list 3-5 items or phrases that express what I’m thankful for in the morning.

2. What would make today great?
I consider what I hope to accomplish in the day and imagine what it’d be like if I could show up how I want to. Often my list of “great” comes what I want to accomplish and in some ways it can become a to do list. Other times it includes thoughts about being present or a mindset. We want every day to be great, right? So, I always intend to keep this reflection for items which I have control over.

I list 3-5 to do’s or to be’s in the morning as I look ahead to the day.

3. I’m thankful for these people:
I usually consider this in the morning and lift up 3-5 people that I feel particular gratitude for. Most days it’s my husband in one of the slots and usually it’s my coach, pastor, spiritual director, or friend who has helped me through something or stuck with me in something or for whom I simply feel full of love and gratitude.

Sometimes I spend a moment in the evening to thank God for the conversations that happened throughout the day with certain people. Whether morning or evening or throughout the day, noticing the people in my life in the here and now helps me. Acknowledging them points me toward progress made that they’ve helped me though and points me toward hopeful future with them in my community.

You might even consider writing one of these people a note or postcard to send in the mail. Or, perhaps a text or phone call would be better. Sometimes taking a moment to make a personal connection helps us experience more ingrained gratitude and passes on a feeling of thanksgiving to those whom we’re thankful for.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

4. Awesome things that happened today…
Usually I’ll reflect on this in the evening, but sometimes I’ll start in the morning to reflect on the previous day. I list 3-5 things that happened in the day that were a surprise, a relief, a moment of joy, an accomplishment, a gift.

Sometimes it’s amazing or awesome or really cool because it was a hard thing I was trying to achieve (like drinking more water than coffee or having a hard conversation with someone that resulted in a better situation) and it’s sometime awesome because I got to be with a person or was surprised by noticing God in a situation even when I wasn’t intentionally reflecting, but being present in the here and now.

5. How could I have made today better?
I usually list 2 things each night that I could have done better. It’s amusing how over time I can see the consistent struggle to run more frequently, do more yoga, eat healthier, go to bed earlier.

Like #2 with what we can do to make today great, this one is also a focus on things that are within the realm of our control where we’d like to improve. Noticing the regularities allow us time

Photo by Arina Krasnikova from Pexels

6. What did I learn today?
Looking at what I’ve learned allows me to realize that yes, indeed, I have made progress. My own tendency is to look so far ahead in the dreamland of “Wouldn’t it be cool if?!” if I’m not taking intentional action and noticing what progress I make.

A head in the clouds in fun for a time, but it’s not a healthy place for me to live as it’s a seed for despair when I only consider the lack of what hasn’t happened yet, since I dream of that which isn’t reality.

As a lifelong learner, I also want lifelong learning for others, so at the end of the day, I hope you’ll reflect. Whether it is “I learned that something is wrong with the toilet” or “I learned that I need to learn x” or “I learned how to plot my novel” each of these measure progress and paint a picture of transformation.

7. Where have I experienced God today?
This allows me to pause and spend time breathing, praying, asking God to reveal Himself to me. Even if this is a mere moment, I think spending a moment is better than never. I do this throughout the day and have had seasons of setting an alarm or calendar notification every couple hours to help me re-focus.

Some people would describe this as a time of contemplative prayer or an examen to reflect on consolations (all of the good, life-giving, invigorating things) and desolations (all of the bad, life-draining, wearing-out things).

If faith is important to you, I’d encourage you to do this each evening before bed and ask God to show you where He was at work over the last 24 hours. Even if faith isn’t important to you, I’d encourage you to consider where you noticed anything spiritual happening. Who knows what may come to mind?

How would you feel if you decided that TODAY is the day to become the writer you’ve always dreamed of being? Grateful?

Book a call with me to see if 1-on-1 time with a creative writing coach is your next right step.

How to Become an Audacious Writer

Audacious is a big word, one synonymous with outspoken, sometimes intimidating people. Yet, it’s also often synonymous with success, courage, seeing massive dreams come to fruition. Audacious, as defined by dictionary.com, means, “extremely bold or daring; recklessly brave; fearless: an audacious explorer.

Those of us who’ve sat back and observed someone instead of taking action ourselves, we’ve have felt intimidated, offended, demoralized when watching someone with the audacity to succeed in doing the things we want to do (and usually not as well as we know we could do them). Yet, I didn’t take action. Other times, I’ve felt that I couldn’t measure up to achieve what I saw others doing.

When I finally resolved to take audacious action:
in spite of feeling afraid,
in spite of worrying about what people think of me,
in spite of knowing how to fully do what I want to be able to do,
I felt more like myself.

How do I become an audacious writer?
1. Write and share words even when I feel fear.
2. Write and let go of others’ thoughts about me.
3. Write and keep writing even when I don’t know how to finish or where I’m going.

Here are three lessons I’ve learned about how to become an audacious writer.

How to Become an Audacious Writer

Lesson #1:
Fear Doesn’t Have Power to Hold Me Back, Unless I Give it Power.
Fear can be loud, dark, blaring, and in your face. It can chase you. It can whisper in your ear. Fear can be very persuasive.

But, fear has no power unless you give it over.

For me, fear has a very real spiritual aspect to it. Because I believe that Jesus is who He says He is in the Bible, giving into fear holds me back from receiving love, and I’m just not into that.

So, I know that I can take action in spite of the fear surrounding me because I know that I am loved. When I doubt that I am loved and accepted, cracks begin to form where fear can seep in and scare me off from completing my writing task. This gives fear permission to have power to push me down.

I will write and share words even when I feel fear.
Fear is part of reality. How I react to feeling fear determine whether I give it power over my life. The difference between feeling afraid and being afraid is massive.

When we feel afraid, it’s a condition outside of ourselves that we can choose how we respond in the midst of it.

When we are afraid, however, it’s a characteristic of our identity. While conditional, it is part of who I am. “I am afraid.” Being afraid means stopping in our tracks. Phrases like ‘paralyzed by fear’ cause us to take no action and live in a state of fear.

Simply feeling the fear is an awareness of the fear, but because it’s not part of our identity, we don’t have to respond to it. It has no power, because I’ve not attached it to my being.

As a result, I write words and I share them. Yep, there’s a ton of stuff that feels scary to me. That will likely always be the case that things feel scary, but it doesn’t always have to be the case that they really are scary.

So, while the unknowns, the doubts, the uncertainties can feel scary, I choose to write the words and get them out and not allow fear the delight of holding me back from becoming the audacious writer I’m made to be. I hope the same for you, too.

Lesson #2
Fear About What Others Think of Me is a Waste of Time.

It’s true that I actually spend more time worrying about myself and what I’m meant to do that I do thinking about other people. It’s selfish and normal and, dare I say (yes, I dare because I’m an audacious writer) freeing!

Most of us are stuck in our own minds. This is a topic for another post series, but the reality is that usually people simply aren’t as hyper focused on you and your choices as you are with your own.

When this comes to how to become the writer you’re made to be, allow yourself the ability to get words out. If people are concerned with or by your words, there’s an opportunity for a conversation where you can get to know each other more.

If you’re committed to being an afraid writer who doesn’t write, but simply thinks about writing, people will think of you the same amount that they will if you actually take that audacious step to get your words out, but they won’t have the opportunity to know you in the same way.

Sharing your words is an invitation.

I will write and let go of others’ thoughts about me.
When I write, I am being myself. I am a writer. I am a writer who writes thoughtfully. I am a writer who submits and publishes regularly. I am a writer who encourages and empowers others to become the writers they’re made to be.

The reality of publishing through contests, open calls for submissions to magazines or podcasts, traditional publishing methods means that there is a limited amount that can be published within each issue or episode or print catalog.

The reality of publishing means that sometimes your work doesn’t fit at this time for the publisher, purely from a logistics standpoint. Magazines, for instance, often have themes for each issue. If January’s theme is animal rescue stories and your overcoming cancer story gets rejected, it isn’t necessarily that the publishers think your story is garbage. It just doesn’t fit at this time.

Of course sometimes it can refer to the quality of my submitted work, but one way to ensure my work is of highest quality as possible is to…write! And, keep writing and let go of others’ thoughts about me.

I want to think this part goes without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway. When I say I’m letting go of what other people think about me, I don’t mean that I can write mean things about people or lack regard for upholding someone’s character or reputation or that are outright mean. What I mean is that I’d rather write my words than not write words in case maybe somebody might not like them (because not everybody will always love everything you or I write–we’re too different to all love the same things).

Lesson #3
Fear of Not Knowing How to Do What I Want to Do Doesn’t Have to Hold Me Back
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When I was a kid I developed this messed up belief that turned into a massive fear I lived many years with. If I can’t do something perfectly the first time something is wrong with me and I shouldn’t try to do it.

This just isn’t true. If I’ve never done something before, of course I don’t know how to do it and of course I won’t be able to do it perfectly. Also, only God is perfect, so me trying to do things perfectly isn’t helpful.

When I’ve allowed the fear of not yet knowing how to do something hold me back, I’ve let go of the power of learning and education. I believe that we all have the capacity to learn and we can observe this human quality as we watch babies learn to walk and listen to them learn to talk. They aren’t afraid of making mistakes or scared because they don’t know how to do something yet. They just do the thing.

I will write and keep writing even when I don’t know how to finish or where I’m going.
It’s a choice to keep putting one word in front of the other. When I plan my writing with exact precision, I can get stuck and prevent creativity from flowing if as I write my ideas morph or change all together.

At the time of writing this (November 2021), I’m in my first draft of a novel. I know vaguely how it will end, but I really have no idea how it’s going to get there. I don’t know–yet–how to weave my main characters’ stories together into a cohesive narrative. I don’t know how to work with a particular editor, yet. I don’t know yet what the best method of publication for this story is yet.

Instead of stopping in fear before I even start the story, I’m committed to writing and allowing myself to learn and discover along the way. This adds fun to the process of creating, but it also allows freedom for me to meander and glean everything I can along the way.

When we do this, I think it makes us better writers, too. We’re not locked into the way it’s always been done. We’re not paralyzed and prevented from any forward motion. We can move forward with imperfection and it’s the process that’s most valuable.

As a creative writing coach, I’m committed to helping people become the writers they are made to be and I do that through courses, community, and coaching. If you’d like to learn more about how to become an audacious writer, I’d love to speak with you. Book a Discovery Call today.

10 Habits That Can Improve Your Creative Writing

Seeing your name on a website or on the spine of a book can truly be thrilling. It’s a real sense of accomplishment. It might be literal blood, sweat and tears. Blood from all the paper cuts, sweat from your apartment writing space which lacks air conditioning, and tears from asking yourself over and over, “Why did I think this was a good idea?!” But in order to actually get the end result, ultimately of being a writer and, for many of us, to be a published author, we have to put in the work. This means developing habits that will positively contribute to getting the words out.

Here are ten habits you can work with to improve your creative writing:

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
  1. Write daily. Truly, in order to improve your creative writing, you need to do it with regularity. The regularity that you practice it may alter with seasons and priorities, but know that the best way to learn, improve and excel at something is by spending some time every day on it. Now, when we talk about writing daily, it does not mean that you have to work on your sci-fi novel, publish a how to blog post article, write a chapter of your book on migratory habits of house finches.

    Writing daily as a habitual practice could be as simple as, every day, I will set the timer for ten minutes and, while I’m drinking my morning coffee or tea, I will write from a list of prompts. (Need some ideas? Click here.) Whether you write something for your current project or something simply for fun and silliness, it’s crucial to write regularly. This keeps the writing gears lubed up and freely moving to continue churning out creativity.

    Even if you manage less than a five minute chunk of free writing, as long as you’ve written something, that will work for you. Moving slowly is still moving. And as long as you don’t stop, it’ll be easier to keep going and pick up the pace when you can.
  2. Practice kindness. Is this you?: “I missed a day of my daily practice, so I might as well give up since I’m not literally writing daily.” That’s been me before with a myriad of habits from healthy eating to marathon training to creative writing. For instance, when I started a new set of thirty day prompts, I ended up missing Day 3 and Day 4! By Day 5, I felt like I was letting myself down. The reality is that I was feeling ill, the weather in my town was extra hot, and I had just moved to a different apartment.

    While it would have been nice to robotically churn out words to meet my daily word count goals, it was kinder for me to do what I ended up doing. Oh, well. I’ll start again tomorrow. And it is crucial to start again tomorrow and not let too much time go by. I evaluated if the word count was too high or the prompts too difficult. Neither of those was the issue, but I simply needed to take a nap with the fan on and eat a salad later when I woke up. And, I had work deadlines I needed to meet, so I worked on those with the energy I had. And, it’s OK. I don’t need to evaluate or cast judgement on myself and send myself into a shame spiral for being human (I’ve done that before and the results aren’t encouraging).

    Practicing kindness could look like lowering a word count goal or breaking up an hour-long session into 15 minute chunks (or a 15 minute session into 5 minute breaks throughout the day). Kindness toward your writer self could also look like writing about something fun for the pure silliness of it instead of writing the boring stuff that leaves you banging your head against the wall. Or, it could even look like simply skipping the “todays” of life that send us off track and choose to start again tomorrow.
  3. Follow the prompt. One way I enjoy writing is by using a prompt to get me started. A prompt is literally that: to instigate movement. Something that my students can struggle with is not feeling that they can stick with the same prompt throughout a writing session. I explain that it’s not about only writing about “my favorite sunny day” but, it’s really about writing how you feel while you’re writing, a memory of your childhood unicorn floaty or the sensation of sticky, sandy ice cream dripping on your beach towel. Normally, this wouldn’t be classed as a favorite day out. Instead, it sounds the opposite.

    But, in order to help your writing habits, you keep your pen moving and your keys clicking words out no matter how they come. Some days we will follow the prompt and get lost in the abyss of monkey butts, pineapple froyo and the hippie or hipster (hard to say sometimes) in the corner that’s all tattooed up and says he really loves the waves. Somedays what we write as we free write and follow the prompt, we allow the words to come out. We can use the joys of the editing process to sift out the golden goodness from a writing session when we’ve let the firehose of absurdity spray out from our pen. However, we have nothing to edit if we are too worried and particular about what we say and whether it’s precisely fitting in with the prompt exactly.
  4. Breathe. Breathing is an involuntary reflex that healthy bodies do without thinking about it. It’s something that simply happens. Sometimes, though, when we are writing and we don’t like what we are writing because it’s off track, lacks perfection, or we’re struggling with actually saying what we want to say, we need to pause and take a breath.

    Something that my coach continues to remind me to do when I’m feeling overwhelmed by so many projects and tasks is to do this, to pause to breathe, so I know that it can work.

    Breathing in through your nose for four seconds and breathing out slowly from your nose, too, for six seconds can help calm you down and bring clarity to your thoughts. Sometimes you might need to slow down for a moment to see what is literally in front of you. Breathing out slowly literally slows our heart rates, which can help us physically calm down. Slowing our heart rate and helping make our bodies feel more at rest, will help us to be able to write more.

    Try this: The next time I feel anxious or annoyed at myself or about my writing, I will pause and take three deep breaths in and out through my nose. You may find it helpful to close your eyes, too. Then, start writing again.
  5. Redefine what writing is. Much of writing, especially at the start of a project, involves literal writing. However, when you are in the midst of a project, sometimes writing involves different practices which contribute to the end result. A place that some people can get stuck is by having a strict definition of what writing is.

    Writing is about researching the occupational duties of your main character, about editing and refining your words to tighten a scene, about going with a free writing prompt wherever it takes you (even to a different city than where you’re writing about), about reading something someone else wrote in a similar genre or on the same topic.

    Writing to get the words out is an essential part of the process, but it is not the only part of the process. If you want to be a writer, then you will spend time writing and that will be your primary focus to be a writer. But, if you want to be a published author (ghostwriting blog articles, writing a mini e-book on your favorite topic, writing a series of YA fantasy rom com novels), there is a lot more that counts toward writing time. And each of these additional tasks need to be part of your writerly schedule and habits.
  6. Read widely. “I only like reading westerns by Louis L’Amour, though.” If you would like to improve your creative writing habits, you might have to break out of your usual reading niche nest and spread your writing genre wings. Reading widely can help you gain understanding and insight on a wide range of topics that will stimulate various parts of your brain that aren’t normally engaged. Reading widely can educate you about a different way of presenting information or saying something in an articulate manner. And, reading widely can help you break out of a rut. We can get so used to how something is that we forget that there’s a different way. Reading from a variety of authors and genres can offer alternative routines to train the formation of different pathways, that scientifically speaking, literally grows your brain.

    Where can you find new genres? There are a ton of resources out there. I have a whole board on Pinterest called, “Books Worth Reading,” that you’re welcome to peruse. The pins there come from a variety of places and people. Some are actual lists of what some say are the best books that coming out in Summer 2021, while others are lists of ideas to find books to read (ex: read a book about an ex-convict, read a book with unicorns, read a book that takes place in Turkey, read a book that take place in the 1920s, etc.).

    You might also talk to your local librarian or a local bookseller and they will be more than happen to recommend popular titles or titles they have recently enjoyed.
  7. Read as a writer. Usually writers want to write because we enjoy reading. We want to give others that experience of producing a page-turner that will inform and entertain and pass time in a pleasant manner on a day off or when we need one, but can only escape for a few minutes at a time.

    One habit to take on to improve your writing is not only to read widely and regularly, but also to read with a writer’s lens. Ask yourself questions about what you read to understand how it helps you write better.

    Try questions like:
    *How did the writer create tension in this scene?
    *Why did the writer choose this word instead of a different one? How might the meaning or mood of this paragraph or page or chapter or book change were they to have used a different word?
    *Which technique did the writer use to structure the plot or the develop the character in this instance?
    *What would my dialogue interactions be like if I tried working with conversation like this writer has done, but for my own characters?

  8. Take a creative writing class. I am a lifelong learner and I am a teacher, so I will always promote taking classes in whatever you choose to want to improve in. By investing time and money into a class, you’re proving to yourself and others around you that your creative writing craft is important and valuable to you.

    Enrolling in a class can be really helpful for scheduling out regular time to devote to your creative writing habits. There is an accountability that comes with putting your money down, you have “skin in the game” we call it in the coaching and education industry. And, I know it’s true from my personal experience. I’ve made that monetary commitment, so I will make that time commitment, too. Plus, there are cool people who are also taking or teaching the class that you want to connect with about writing. It can all be very exciting.

    We can use our excitement about someone else’s work to inspire our own, also. When we are in community, we have the opportunity to experience life in a different manner and in a varied context. Habitual learning in community in a safe space like a classroom, whether virtual or in-person, can really improve your creativity. I make it a habit to take classes to improve my creative pursuits and in seasons when I am working on something else, I’m more able to keep the concepts front of mind and remain in a creative mindset because of the learning, rather than getting stagnant because I don’t have time for it all.
  9. Go for a walk. It’s a simple one, but the act of getting up from your chair and getting blood flowing in your legs and feet when you’ve been cramped up trying to knock out all of those words, can bring a new lease of life into your writing time.

    Physically walking helps promote healthy circulation (including to your extremities: you need your little fingers to be able to type, but also to your brain, which you need to imagine all these amazing ideas to write down), but there are other benefits of walking when it comes to writing habits.

    Going for a walk means you can engage all five senses without technology impeding them. Your eyes get a break from looking closely at a notebook or at your computer screen and they can take in all the colors. Walking so you feel the sensations of hitting your foot on the ground. Smell the seasonal air, a neighborhood bakery, that businessman’s cologne. Taste your gum or your need for it (maybe this triggers a story scene for an apocalyptic tale where clean water doesn’t exist anymore). Listen to birds chirping, the elderly neighbor shouting hello to the mail carrier, the motorcycles gearing up for the weekend ride.
  10. Submit your writing. While submission can be a goal, it can be scary, and it can become a habit that doesn’t get held back by emotions and what ifs. There are countless online resources available for submission. Maybe you could post a blog daily, submit a short story to a contest once a week, send a query letter to an agent a couple times a month.

    Practicing submitting not only trains your brain to work to deadlines, but also to be able to handle rejection. The fear of rejection can be a massive hurdle, but it doesn’t have to be. One of the ways to overcome rejection is to realize that it’s the writing piece, that has a life of its own, that is being rejected. This can happen for a whole host of reasons: the contest received so many submissions that only one of one thousand submissions could be chosen; the agent is currently at capacity and isn’t able to take on another author at this time (even though they loved your work); or the online e-zine has already received enough pieces in the genre you submitted, so they are actually looking for work in a different genre.

    The practice of submission encourages a habit of completion, a habit of sharing, and a habit of writing something new. When you practice submitting writing you become resilient, audacious and prolific. You give yourself the change to actually become an effective writer because you put in the practice of showing up to the page.

There are many other habits which can help us improve our writing, but I hope that these few above can help you grow into a brave and effective communicator through the written word. Which one of the above ten ideas will you try implementing this week? Let me know how it goes–comment below!

Happy Writing!

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Braving the Wilderness as a 5-year-old

Project Perseverance: Journal Entry #2

Written on: Monday 5 February 2018

Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown p.13

“…I just started sobbing. I didn’t break down because I hadn’t made the drill team, I wept for the girl that I couldn’t comfort back then. The girl who didn’t understand what was happening or why…”

Photo by Alexander Dummer from Pexels

As I read this, I can totally relate. I am processing many moments of pain, regret, disappointment, wounding, misunderstandings, mismatched expectations–many of which have been suppressed for years. I have often been experiencing just what Brene Brown describes here looking back at the devastation to her teenage heart and all the pain and meaning made from not being accepted to the drill team and how all this meaning involved not belonging and the despair of never belonging or fitting in anywhere.

I know this feeling well.

I cry now for sweet, five-year-old Molly who was beginning to paint a picture during free choice time in kindergarten and the teacher ripped down her painting (just one blue horizontal stroke, so far) and put it on the floor by the window. “It’s not your turn to paint, Molly.” Another child had asked permission to paint at the easel.

Because I had not asked (because it was free choice time and we were told we could choose to do anything we wanted), I was humiliated. I never painted again except in art class when we were required to.

I remember really wanting to be in art club in high school, but “knew” that I wasn’t good enough and probably wouldn’t be allowed to anyway. And so now, 25 years later, I have learned to say to sweet, five-year-old Molly: “It’s always my turn to paint.”

Brown says, “These are the moments that, when left unspoken and unresolved, send us into our adult lives searching desperately for belonging and settling for fitting in.”

These five questions have helped me and some of my friends to reflect and notice when something is holding us back or keeping us stuck. They could help you, too. Sign up here.

Leave me a comment.

What are some of the voices that have echoed in your ears for many years?
What do you do when you are “searching desperate for belonging”?
What would you like to try today that you lost out on when you were younger?

How Affirmations Can Inspire Your Creativity

My Story.

“It’s not your turn.”

In kindergarten, it was free choice time–we could choose to do anything we wanted, so I went over to the easel and made one big vertical blue streak. Then, my teacher came over with another child, who had an apron on, and told me that it wasn’t my turn to paint. That I hadn’t asked permission to paint, but this other child had asked permission. I was confused–it was free choice time and we could choose to do anything we wanted to do, but…somehow I chose wrong? The teacher ripped my page, with its one blue streak, off the easel and set it on the floor by the window. I had to find something else to do. 

For so many years, part of me has remained this five year old who was told that I’d made the wrong choice when I chose to paint. I have had to learn to rewrite this memory so it has less of a negative impact as it likes to play on repeat and persuade me to give in to fear. 

It is always my turn to paint.

Photo by Artem Podrez from Pexels

Application for Us

Once I found out that I had been subconsciously holding onto this lie that it wasn’t my turn and that I had chosen wrongly, I was able to make a change. I had no idea why I was resistant to spending time making art or why it felt like forbidden fruit to be created in secret when I had the opportunity to rebel. Now that I know, I can remind and affirm myself that:

1. It is always my turn to paint.
2. When I paint, I’ve made a great decision.
3. It is a good use of my time to paint.
4. My art is worthy of hanging on walls to be appreciated.
5. I am a grown up and I have given myself indefinite permission to paint.

By working with affirmations, I am able to grow and be more creative.

Would you like to be notified of a recap of when I blog or to have creative inspiration delivered to your inbox? Click those links and we’ll be in touch.

Photo by Jessica Lewis from Pexels

I often find it helpful to journal in writing questions and answers as a way to process what I’m thinking or feeling about a situation. Especially, when it’s something like this, from my forgotten past. If writing seems like it’d be helpful for you, I want to invite you to take time over the next week or so to reflect on these questions and how you might answer them.

  1. When is a time that you felt like you were doing the wrong thing (when morals were actually not in question)? What was the situation? How old were you? Who was with you?
  2. What meaning did you assign to that experience? What have you told yourself since then?
  3. Ask God what might have been the result of feeling like you were wrong? What have you been prevented from doing?
  4. Imagine the best version of yourself: How would you love to spend your days? What type of person would you love to be?
  5. What might life look like if you started to give yourself permission for these things?
  6. Who might you be able to talk to about taking these new steps?
  7. What is the negative belief, meaning, lie that you’ve been telling yourself? How could you change it around to be a positive affirmation?

What have you learned from working with affirmations?

What questions do you have around this process of turning a negative thought into a positive one?

Leave a comment below.