Tag Archives: fears

I am going to take a not-so-wild guess and say that your answer is “Yes!” The Inner Critic can be a loud jerk shouting mean words at us or it could be low frequency whisper that raise doubt and suspicion about our ability to write or, in extreme cases, our right to take up space. The Inner Critic is a shame-mongering champion cage fighter. I know this firsthand and deal with it as I write this blog post. I’ve read other writers’ accounts of their Inner Critic battles. I also have heard from writing students over the years how they struggle with it.

One student asked me for help, “I get criticism from family for prioritizing writing over household chores. It has gotten to the point that I often hear my Inner Editor saying that I should be doing chores instead of writing.”

I was so glad that this student reached out for help to get their writing going. These are really important issues that they have raised. Our Inner Critic can often become an imagined monster of a real human who has been in our lives who said something to us that hurt.

I can list several negative voices that have fueled my Inner Critic:
1. My kindergarten teacher told me I chose wrong during free choice time and that it was not my turn to paint, after all.
2. My dad told me to pursue any career that would make lots of money and he told me out of the blue one day that I would be a starving artist.
3. A mentor told me that I must be doing it all wrong because there’s no way that I’m selling as many paintings as I said that I am.

This all begs me to answer the questions, “Who is in your life?” and “What are you listening to?” Check out the post I wrote about asking yourself five questions to unlock creativity in your life. Read it here.

Some suggestions that I can give to encourage your writing habits:

1. Keep writing affirmations about your identity as a writer. You are at a fragile stage now when you need to continually remind yourself that writing is a great use of time and that it is a gift. Writing can also be a form of therapy for some people and crucial to one’s well-being. It can be as important for some as eating, going for a walk to exercise with fresh air, or meeting with a friend to chat so you remember that you’re loved and that you belong. Writing can be crucial in maintaining a healthy form of escapism as you create a world to live in for a break in your imagination. It can also be a way that you can journal and find out your beliefs–or that you discover how you feel about something based on how one of your characters reacts!

2. Do it afraid. Your Inner Critic and Editor is there all the time. I think it takes more than just ignoring it. I think it’s actually important to acknowledge that it’s there, but let it know that you’re choosing to write anyway and choosing to believe that you’re a writer. Perhaps redefining certain times and types of writing, too, could help. Maybe you designate morning times of writing for your playful freewriter to come out and have fun, and then in the afternoon or evening it’s the editor’s turn to comb through what you wrote that morning or last week.

3. Do your writing in secret, if you have to, for a season. Often when we make changes to our own lives it upsets the homeostasis of our environment and others around us can feel threatened by our change because change is hard for people. They may fear losing you, they may fear losing control over you as you gain freedom and identity and self-confidence in your writing, they may fear that they will be forced to change when they don’t want to. Your safety is important. Please make sure that you are safe in your home or that you seek help if you need it. 
But, if it means that you loudly and visibly do your chores and then later you quietly retreat with your door closed (to a local coffee shop or bookstore) and ‘clean your room’ or ‘do some errands’ or ‘have quiet, alone time,’ then do that. Get up early, ‘go to bed’ early, write during meals (or instead of eating and then eat while you do something else).

4. Join a writing group. When we are in isolation the negative voices can be louder than ever because we don’t have other options to listen to or to drown it out. On healthy and strong days this might not be a problem, but on weak and tired and lonely days (I’ve had lots of those over the years), negativity can be a spitting tyrant refusing to be silenced. This is when the kind words, the community, compassion, connection with a writing group can be really beneficial. Take courage and join a group. There are many writing groups on Facebook or elsewhere online and there are likely groups in your local area, either in-person or meeting virtually. Some might have a membership fee and others might be free. Check your local library, community education catalog, or community center. Whatever the case, being in the company of other writers who “get it” truly is priceless.

In the end, our Inner Critic will always be present. Whether or not we give weight to its words is a different story. Sometimes acknowledging the fear that is present in the Inner Critic’s words can be the key to growth and getting words on a page. Other times, you might be able to have a conversation with your family member or friend who has instigated the negative voices and given your Inner Critic the demoralizing script to read from–it won’t necessarily be easy, but it could be helpful to explain what writing means to you and why you want to prioritize it. Even other times it might simply be your best bet to take action and do what needs to get done and not worry about what other people think. I know this is not always the easiest and in fact, it can be quite challenging, but I think that it is worth it to get creative freedom!

What are some tricks you use to combat the incessant ramblings of the Inner Critic?
Leave me a comment, please! 🙂