Find & Use Your Voice

As humans, we’ve all been given a voice. It’s our soul, it’s the thing that happens when we “speak from the heart.” It’s part of who we are, our identity, how other people know us. Our voice is both our audible words that we speak, but it’s also words we write–how we experience the world and express our experience. And, as humans, our voices and the words we articulate with them are powerful.

The journey to finding and using your own authentic “you” voice truly is a continuous discovery process. It’s a pursuit of continued curiosity, growing awareness, and an intentional willingness.

There are many aspects to finding and using your voice that are compelling and valuable. Today I want to share a few thoughts on how to find your voice, and a few more ideas on how to use your voice.

A massive key to this journey is to consider it a practice. This allows us permission to try something new, to believe we could get better, and to recognize there might be a different or better way of using your voice than how you’ve known thus far in life.

First, let’s look at “Finding Your Voice.”

1. Practice Writing:
A practice of journaling or writing for creativity joy allows for concentrated time to get words from your brain to the page. Many of us don’t fully know what we think until we write it. Others of us don’t fully communicate what we think until we write it down in a way we could share it to make sense to someone else.

When we practice writing to find our voice, a couple of helpful prompts are to complete the following sentences:
– I remember…
– Something important to me is…

Give yourself a timer for 5-10 minutes and allow whatever comes out to come out. Your personality and thoughts will be exposed for yourself to see. This awareness allows the possibility for growth.

Then, once you’ve written it, read it aloud. There’s no need to share it with anyone while you’re in the early stages of discovery. If you do want to share it, be very clear that you simply want them to celebrate with you on the journey toward discovering your own voice–not to hear any critical feedback.

Reading out loud doesn’t have to be for someone else to hear, but simply for yourself. Recording yourself reading your words aloud and listening back can be a very (painful, at first, but then) healing process–as well as revealing. When you give yourself time to listen to how you hear and what you’re saying, it’s a practice that can lead toward using your voice in a healthy and proactive manner.

2. Listen:
Awareness through listening to our own voices and becoming confident in them can be just as beneficial as listening to others.

Listening to a variety of voices (in books, on podcasts, in documentaries, on social media, in your neighborhood) can be vastly influential in your personal discovery of your voice. When we listen to what a variety of people say, in order to simply listen to their voice, instead of listening to agree or disagree with them, it can be empowering for those to whom you listen, but also enlightening for you as you listen. You’re exposed to different perspectives and ideas.

Giving time to listen to women, children, and underrepresented people of all ages and genders means you have a willingness to learn and grow and be in spaces to listen which may not be entirely comfortable when viewpoints aren’t shared. But, listening to people who have a different race or ethnicity or culture from you can truly be a great practice in your own personal growth as you hone your own voice.

Second, let’s look at “Using Your Voice.”

1. Practice speaking (and keep practicing!)
Not only can you read your own words aloud and grow in your comfort level and acceptance of your own voice, but you could read aloud what you’ve written to share with a loved one. It’s important to note that when we share something we’ve written, especially at these early stages, that we are clear about the expectations for when we share.

Saying something like, “Hey, I am practicing how to use my voice. I wondered if you could give me your full attention and listen to something I’ve written. And I literally just want you to cheer me on and celebrate with me that I’m learning. I don’t want any feedback. I’m kind of just learning how to be comfortable in my own skin. And, you’re a safe person for me to practice…so…thanks for listening.”

2. Use your voice to give others a voice.
Is a woman or person of color interrupted during a work meeting? Use your voice to give them the opportunity to finish what they were saying before they were interrupted.

You can also try asking, “Whose voice have I not heard?” Then, you can offer an opportunity for them to speak when you ask them to. But, remember that this is an invitation, not a requirement for someone to speak. As you know with your own journey to find and use your voice, not everyone and not everywhere feels comfortable or safe to practice using our voices.

3. Look for opportunities (and take them)!
There are many quieter, smaller, (potentially less-overwhelming) and very valuable opportunities that can help you grow into your voice.

-Local media sources: radio programs, newspaper, magazine
Example: One woman I know took a season of regularly writing a letter to the editor about an issue that was important to her. She explored her voice and practiced using it.

-Community events:
Example: A local community group is looking for someone to help compile, write, and edit a newsletter each month. You can explore your own voice as you write to suit the voice of the group.

-Schools:
Example: Maybe your niece or grandson’s class as school is running a neighborhood meet the expert panel and you have a special skill. You could visit the school and share what you know, practicing asserting your voice and becoming confident in what you have to say and how you can say it.

-Volunteer Reader:
Example: Many nursing homes or assisted living homes, as well as schools, would love volunteers to come in and spend time using their physical voices to read books or magazines to their residents and students. This continued practice can help you grow comfortable with physically using your voice with an audience of listeners.

4. Recognize the power of your voice.
Your voice matters. Your thoughts are valuable. Your presence in someone’s life can be extremely impactful. Consider the words you speak aloud and write.
-Who could you look in the eyes and speak an encouraging word to?
-Who might you ask for forgiveness from?
-Who can you write a thoughtful note of gratitude to?
-Would would love a phone call and the opportunity to speak with you?

All of these ideas can assist you as you set off (or continue) on the journey to finding and using your voice. As I offered earlier, this is certainly not an exhaustive resource, but simply a place to start or start again.

As you work intentionally to find your voice, I hope you can enjoy the process of practicing writing your thoughts on paper and the occasions of listening to voices unlike your own.

As you practice growing in confidence in using your voice, I hope you can find favorable circumstances in which you can practice speaking, use your voice to give someone else a chance to use theirs, and to look for and seize opportunities to keep learning and practicing. Most of all, I hope you recognize the power of your voice both in its physicality and its heart.

May you use your voice for good!